How Dilandau became insane part 2:Return of Jackie
by Kestrel3
Summary: It's 2 years later Dilandau is turning 15 and he gets a unwanted present...again. Chapter 4 is up and running
1. Return Of Jackie

How Dilandau Became insane part 2:The Return of Jackie  
  
  
  
Disclaimer don't own escaflowne they won't sell it to me (  
  
That's right folks I'm back with second part of my story if you haven't read it then you pretty much won't understand anything that's going to happen in the story so please read those and then this.unless you like not understanding things then read this now but I warned you.  
  
Our story starts at Zaibach where Dilandau was celebrating his 15 birthday. He was opening his presents (Awwwww isn't that cute lol) When the General (everyone's favorite character lol.no.at least I hope not) came in.  
  
"Dilandau, I have put together a very special present for you." The General said in a game show-like voice. "These are people from your past." "Oh whoopee." Dilandau said sarcastically as all his Dragonslayers snickered. "Dilandau do you recognize this voice. "The General said pointing at a black blanket hung over a clothesline-like thing. "Dilandau it's me.Folken." Said the voice obviously Folken "Folken your not suppose to tell him who you are, he's suppose to guess." The General said raising his voice. (He's scared of Folken's arm thingy) "This one's hard General but could it be Folken?" Dilandau said smiling that arrogant smile of his. "Folken came out from behind the blanket looking.how to explain this.Folken-ish. (I have a theory that when he lost his arm he also lost the ability to move his face lol (I apologize to any Folken fans.) Three people later (who were Dornkirk, Jajuka, and General Adollfez (I spelled it like it sounds) Dilandau was looking very bored but the General had one more guest. (Can you guess who it is???) "Dilandau do you know this voice?" The General asked in his game show voice. No one even looked up at the blanket. "I told you I'd be back Dilandau." Said the voice behind the blanket. Everyone looked at the blanket and then looked at the General and then at Dilandau. Dilandau's eyes were almost popping out of his head and then he gave a nervous laugh. "How'd you do that?? She can't be here.right???" Dilandau asked the General. "But I am here Dilandau but it's nice to see you remember me so just say my name so I can come out from behind the curtain." Jackie said mockingly. Dilandau laugh nervously. "That can't be Jackie..rrrighttt." Dilandau asked looking around. "Thank you now I can come out." Jackie came out from behind the black blanket. "Ahhhhhh." Dilandau screams. "Ahhhh." Jackie screamed back. "Ahhhhh." Dilandau screams. "Ahhhh." Jackie screamed back "Ahhhh." Dilandau screamed again. "Dilandau It's not funny anymore so stop." Jackie said annoyed. "You can't make me. Your still just a girl, a weak, silly, pathetic, short, little girl." Dilandau said in his normal, smug voice. "I see my last visit didn't teach you much and I am not short I'm vertically challenged." Jackie said. "Aren't short and vertically challenged the same thing?" asked Miguel "And as for making you stop.don't you remember Mr. Lipstick or The cherry pie incident?" Jackie continued, glaring at Miguel. At the mention of these "incidents" Dilandau turned on the General. "Why did you bring her back? What were you thinking?" Dilandau screamed. "You don't like my present?" The General asked. "NO I HATE IT." Dilandau screamed in the General's face. Then the General burst out into tears. He fell to the floor a cried like a baby with Dilandau still screaming about how he was stupid. "STOP SCREAMING AT HIM." Jackie screamed at Dilandau. "MAKE ME." Dilandau screamed at her. "SHUT UP." Jackie Screamed. "YOU SHUT UP." Dilandau screamed back. "THAT'S IT I'M TAKING OUT MR. LIPSTICK." Jackie screamed taking a tube of bright red lipstick out of her bag. "You wouldn't." Dilandau said backing away. "Yes I would." Jackie said starting after him?? Her?? It??? Dilandau. Dilandau started running with Jackie right behind him. "Stay away from me." Dilandau yelled over his shoulder as he ran. "But Dilandau it's your color." Jackie yelled back.  
  
They ran all through Zaibach. Jackie didn't get Dilandau but there will be plenty of time for that in the next chapter. Please R/R it took me two days, 5 glasses of pop, three cookies, two slices of pizza and 15 packets of sugar to write this story just kidding. C-ya I'll work on chapter two real soon. 


	2. Cherry Pie and the Bed Dilemma

How Dilandau Became insane part 2:Return of Jackie Chapter 2: Cherry Pie and the Bed Dilemma  
  
Hello Again everyone I'mmm Back! Lol I'm sorry It's taken me so long to write chapter 2.I've just been really busy but I still luv you all very much lol. Anyways I doubt anyone wants to read me going on and on and on about...well nothing at all so on with the story.  
  
Discamer:I don't own Escaflowne YadaYadaYada.  
  
We join our friends in the halls of Zaibach just after Jackie has stopped chasing Dilandau with Mr.Lipstick. Now she sits on the floor with Mr.Lipstick in her hands fake crying(But no one knows that so SHHHHH!)With everyone gathered around her. "YOU BROKE HIM!" Jackie sobbed."HOW COULD YOU?" "YOU WERE CHASING ME WITH THAT THING WHAT WAS I SUPOSE TO DO?" Dilandau screamed. "Well I don't know."Said Jackie looking up. "How about not breaking him huh?" "Dilandau apolgize to the young lady right now!" Said Folken. "She was chasing me with lipstick!" Dilandau screeched. "She only wanted your attention Dilandau." Folken said. "It's probably her way of flirting,no matter how strange it may be." "Wait just a gosh darn second!" Jackie said standing up still holding Mr.Lipsticks, in all his brokenness. (Gosh Darn?????) "I was not Flirting." Dilandau seeing an opertunity to annoy Jackie said. "Look Jackie it's nothing to be ashamed of, I can see why you would have these. Feelings for me but I just don't feel the same way maybe if you acted more lady-like." Dilandau and all his Dragonslayers snicker (I have a feeling their gonna do that a lot.) "LADY-LIKE" Jackie screamed. "You want lady-like I'll give you lady- like." And with that Jackie lunged at Dilandau only to be held back by folkens arm thing. "God Damn let me go." Jackie Yelled twisting and turning trying to get out of Folkens grip. "He wants a lady I'll give him a lady." Suddenly Jackie stopped moving and got an evil smile on her face. "Ok I'm better now,I promise so you can let go now Folken." Folken let go looking suspeciosly at Jackie. "don't worry I'm fine and to show that I'm as calm as a Kettle I'm gonna go make you a surprise." With that Jackie ran off snickering with everyone looing puzzling off after her.(just got the strangest image, everyone as..That's right you guessed it PUZZLES that would be the best lol) "That was strange." Dilandau said as he got this felling of impending doom. "I'm sure she won't do anything demented or insane.will she??" "We'll have to wait and see." Said Chesta trailing off like it was the end of the chapter or something. "We'll have to wait and see." Everyone looks at him confuzled. "What I thought it sounded cool." He said defensively. "I really thought it did." "Well Guess what? It wasn't." Said the General who had come out of the room he had been crying in since the last chapter. "What's happening?" Just then Jackie comes running back into the hall. "Ok everyone in the Cafeteria." Jackie said and ran back to the Café with everyone right behind her. She ran into the Kitchen and took out a big tray. "You wanted Lady- like so I baked a pie." Jackie said walking to the table and stopping right behind Dilandau. "Some Cherry Pie." And then she dumped the pie right on Dilandau's head. "HA! What do you think about that huh? THAT'S FOR MR.LIPSTICK!" yelled Jackie and in her happinest she jumped up on the next table and started doing her Victory dance while everyone started at her confused.(and if you've ever seen my victory dance you'd stare like that too) Dilandau removed a chuck of cherry from his face and then started running after Jackie. He hopped on the table after her and then chased after her when she jumped down. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Dilandau screamed. "But I thought you wanted me to be Lady-like?" Jackie said laughing. "Well I made you a pie what more do you want? A cake?" "STOP TALKING AND STOP RUNNING SO I CAN STRANGLE YOU!" Dilandau yelled running after Jackie. "Let me think about that." Jackie said. "How about NO!" "Dilandau stop chasing her and get over here." Folken said. "She obviously still has feelings for you." He said with a straight face. (His only kind of face.) "Would you cut it out with the feelings all ready Folken." Jackie said still running. " I don't like him okay, If I did, Which I DON'T, I would feed him the Cherry pie NOT DUMP IT ON HIS HEAD!" "Well okay then." Said folken sounding somewhat surprised but as always keeping a straight face. Then Folken and the General separated Dilandau and Jackie. Dilandau was in his room getting dressed because he had to take a shower to get the Cherry Pie out of his hair, when the General came in. "Dilandau about what happened today with Jackie, I'm sorry I know it's your Birthday I only wanted to give you the best present possible." "That's ok General it's not your fault it's hers, that she- demon."Dilandau said. "Well I was discussing the situation with Folken and we've come to a decision."The General said. "your at an age now where you need to learn about things other than fighting." "There are things other than fighting?" Dilandau said looking at the General. "Yes Dilandau." The General said. "Things like girls, to be a real man you must understand girls, or at least pretend you do." "So we have decided the best thing for everyone is for you and Jackie be Room mates. again." "WHAT?" Dilandau screamed. "NO CHANCE! NO WAY IN HELL AM I LIVING IN THE SAME ROOM AS THAT.THAT.HORRIBLE INCARNATION OF THE DEVIL." "Why thank you." Said Jackie walking into the room with a bag of stuff. "Nice to know you think of me so fondly Dilly, I want to let you know I feel the same way." "Well I'll let you kids get to know each other again." The general said. "I'm sure you'll get along just wonderfully from this point on." "What color is the Sky in your world?" Jackie said looking at the general. "Purple? Yellow? Green with Red bunny's?" "Actually it's Pink." The General said. "and I have to go and tend to the hippo's they get mad if I let them play with the guns too much." And with that he slipped out the door with Jackie and Dilandau staring. "We're all gonna die!" Jackie said still staring at the door. "A horrible, tragic death involving Guns, Hippos and a Pink sky." "Shut up and leave me alone." Dilandau said laying down on his bed. "I really don't want to share a room with you." "Hey I don't like it anymore than you do." Jackie said looking around then she suddenly stopped dead. "We may have a problem." "What would that be? Has your brain shrunk even smaller and slipped out of your ear and now you can't find it." Dilandau said laughing at his own joke. "No you pompous wind bag." Jackie said grabbing his arm and pulling him up to face the bed. "There's only one bed!"  
  
What will Jackie and Dilandau do with only one bed,and if your thinking what I think your thinking you need to wash your brain you dirty dirty person lol j/k. Did the General plan this is he a dirty dirty person? Probaly not, no one that lets Hippos play with guns can be all bad. Hope you liked this Chapter it took me 4 hours to write and now I REALLY need to use the bathroom lol j/k . Please Review I need them I only have 2, I must have comments on my writing please sobs uncontrollably well I'm done with that c-ya all later. 


	3. The Makover :

Chapter 3:  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own escaflowne..yet!  
  
Thanks everyone that read my story so far ;). Even more thanks to those who reviewed ;D. And I think there's something wrong with my writing program because my story's all seem to come out in a big block. Sorry. Anyways On with the story.  
  
We enter our "friends" in their room where they are fighting (Of course) about the bedding situation. ( that naughty General(Who I haven't given a name to yet ???? I JUST realized that)  
  
"Ok how about this I get the bed on even numbered days and you get it on odd days?" Jackie suggested.  
  
"I am not sharing anything with you." Dilandau said. "Well then." Jackie said. " How about I get the bed EVERYDAY then and you sleep on the floor?" Jackie said smiling.  
  
" How about I get the bed and you take the floor?" Dilandau said sneering. " Take the floor where?" Jackie asked with no humor in her voice.  
  
" Your Hopeless." Dilandau said. " Did you know that?" "That's what the guidance counselor always says." Jackie said. " I wonder why?"  
  
Then Jackie lunged for the bed and sat down. " HA! I win." Jackie said.  
  
"NO! you don't." Dilandau said trying to push her off the bed but Jackie clung to the little headboard thing.  
  
" You'll never take me alive." Jackie said. " I don't want you alive at all so there's not a problem."  
  
"WELL THEN." Jackie said kicking him in the shins. " Showed your buttons!" Dilandau yelped in pain. " You little." But Jackie cut him off " Do you want me to bite myself and tell people you did it?"  
  
"They wouldn't belive you." Dilandau said eyeing her suspiously. "Don't be stupid." Jackie said. " Yes they would."  
  
" No they wouldn't." Dilandau said. " Why would I bite someone?"  
  
" Because you're a egotistical, demented lunatic who has sever delusions of success." Jackie said smiling. " Well still they wouldn't believe you." Dilandau said pouting.  
  
" Yeah you keep thinking that." Jackie said smiling sarcasticly. " maybe after awhile you'll start to believe it."  
  
"Shut up!" Dilandau said. " Your still just an annoying little girl you were last time you were here and you are this time!" "And your just so mature." Jackie said. " I may have been only a little girl but I sent you to a padded room for three weeks."  
  
"How did you know that." Dilandau said narrowing his eyes."  
  
" I have my sources. " Jackie said. Dilandau slammed his fist on the nightstand. " Tell me." He said.  
  
"Yeah you're a big man." Jackie said sarcastically. " Slamming your fist on a table is just so intimidating."  
  
"Shut up and tell me!" Dilandau said. "Umm if I shut up how can I tell you?" Jackie said.  
  
"Well tell me first." Dilandau said. " Then shut up." "Nope can't be done." Jackie said skipping around the room. " Talking is what I do best." " I know." Dilandau said.  
  
" I know you know." Jackie said. " I also know that you know, I know, you know, that I know you know that I know that you know soup is good!"  
  
"What?" Dilandau said confused. "Exactly." Jackie said.  
  
"You stupid confusing little nothing." Dilandau said. " You are the most annoying person I've ever met." "Thank you." Jackie said smiling. "Just shut up you little wrench I'm glad I destroyed your stuff last time."  
  
" I just remembered I must avenge Mr. Lipstick , My nail file , Nail polish and all that other stuff you tore up." Jackie said grabbing a wooden stick that was , so conveniently , laying up against the wall. "Don't you dare." Dilandau said backing up towards the door. " Would wouldn't." "YES I WOULD." Jackie yelled and chased after him with the stick. (This seems familiar lol)  
  
Ten minutes later Dilandau lay unconscious on the floor on the hall with Jackie standing over him so no one could see his face or what she was doing. After she was done she put a tissue on his face and ran up the stairs to watch. There was a mirror beside him.  
  
A little while later Dilandau woke up. He wondered what had happened and why his face what covered in a tissue. He removed it from his face but then a thought came to him. " Why do my pores feel so clogged."  
  
Then he grabbed the mirror beside him and screamed. Everyone in the hall looked at him and started laughing. Dilandau's face was covered in make-up. Blue eye shadow, bright red lipstick, and blush. His hair was standing up completely straight and had little bits of blue , red and pink smushed in.  
  
"It's a memento of the first time we ever met Dilly." Jackie called down from the top of the stairs.  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU." Dilandau said standing up. " YOU LITTLE WITCH."  
  
" catch me if you can." Jackie said running.  
  
Wasn't that just a special chapter and now all you special people are gonna review aren't you. Please do I need reviews Even if you only yell at me because I made Dilandau look like an Easter egg. Hope you liked it. ( Luv yas. 


	4. Huggles

How Dilandau became inane part 2: The Return of Jackie  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne as of now. but believe me I will, I will. Lol  
  
Ok I need you people that are reading this RIGHT NOW. to review ok. I'm going out of my mind. even more so than I already am, so please.I'll give you candy..Eskimo kisses.or a GREAT BIG KICK IN THE BUTT IF YOU DON'T REVIEW.sorry impulse anyways On with the deranged story.  
  
We join our happy friends in their room at Zibach once again. With Dilandau sitting on the bed and Jackie sitting on a cot brought in by our nameless friend simply named the General, both of them were staring at each other.  
  
"I hate you." Dilandau said. " Did you know that?"  
  
"No I didn't." Jackie said sarcastically. " I'm THAT stupid that even with you repeatedly saying that you hate me it hasn't exactly sunk in yet."  
  
Dilandau narrowed his eyes. " You little wench I should kill you in your sleep."  
  
"Ok that's not really insulting because I don't know what a wench is." Jackie said. " And as for you killing me you wouldn't because everyone would know it was you."  
  
"Look Little girl." Dilandau said. " I could kill you right now and no one would give a Damn."  
  
" Dilandau, sweetie.Honey.Baby." Jackie said. " Go to H."  
  
"Hello you two." Said the General as he walked in. " How are you people doing today?"  
  
"Miserably." Dilandau said. " I hate her SO MUCH."  
  
Then Jackie had an idea. A terrible, nasty, spiteful idea.A Jackie idea. While the General was lecturing Dilandau about being nice Jackie bit herself and started whimpering.  
  
"What's wrong Jackie." The General asked. " Is something wrong?"  
  
"Yes." Jackie said through some tears and a sob or two. " Dilandau and I had a fight and he.he."  
  
"What is it Dear." The General said. " What did Dilandau do?"  
  
"He bit me." Jackie said and started fake crying, and if you looked closely you could see she was faking, most people could tell but then again were talking about the General here.  
  
"Dilandau." The General said surprised. " How could you bit this innocent young lady?"  
  
Dilandau too shocked to speak started making funny sounds.  
  
"Look at her Dilandau." The General said out-raged. " Look at the size of her, and look at the size of you, you may be small for a boy but she's so much smaller than you. Now apologize."  
  
"I will not because I didn't bit her." Dilandau said regaining his voice.  
  
"She has the mark to prove it Dilandau." The general said. " And why would a sweet girl like her lie about you biting her. So Apologize NOW!"  
  
Dilandau mumbled some kind sorry and Jackie accepted through some sobs. " Now that wasn't so hard was it?" The general said and then he was gone.  
  
"You little.." Dilandau was about to say but then he stopped himself. " you wanna know something your not worth the trouble."  
  
"Of course I am." Jackie said. " Oh Dilandau's sad. HUGGLE TIME." And then Jackie ran up to him and gave him a great big hug.  
  
"GET OFF YOU LITTLE FREAK." Dilandau screamed but Jackie held on. Then the General burst back in.  
  
"DID I HEAR SOMEONE YELL HUGGLE TIME?" He yelled and then saw Jackie holding on to Dilandau and Dilandau struggling to get away. " YES I DID." And then he too grabbed ahold of Dilandau and hugged him.  
  
" I..Breath..Can't." Dilandau said struggling for breath and the lack of oxygen going to his brain was impairing his ability to form sentences correctly.  
  
"Our work here is done them." Jackie said and she and The General both let go of Dilandau and when they did he collapsed on the floor gasping for air.  
  
"Hey I'm about to go have a tea party with Mrs. Fru Fru my purple pot- a-doted bunny friend and Phoanea the Black and white lined Hippo that plays Piano, do you wanna come?"  
  
"Of course can Mr. Popo my giant banana that has arms, hands, legs, feet and a face come too?"  
  
"Of course the more the merrier." The General said and they all skipped off to have an imaginary tea party with Dilandau laying unconscious on the floor.  
  
Well that's then end of that Chapter. I had to stop this one now because it was reminding me of a REALLY bad episode of Barney *shudders * Well I hope you all liked it and Please Review.Give me a reason to write more. 


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